Please Stop Blowing Up My Myspace

This is not the usual blogging that I do, but is a little something I like to call PAYBACK, BITCH. I've got questionable taste in pretty much everything: men, music, facial piercings. So this entire post is just FOR THE RECORD:

To kick things off slow

YES, I thought Jesus Christ Superstar (the Broadway version not the movie version) was a pretty solid album. YES, Gilmore Girls is hands down my favorite television show. And YES, I have a ridiculous Tom Delonge lip ring, though hopefully not for long.

And now to kick it up a notch

That Guy Outside Of Rudy's That I Drunkenly Agreed To Go On A Date With - decent music taste, cool coat that looks totally cute on me. Nevertheless, not interested. Smoothies? Sure. Dinner & a movie? Not so much.

Cap'n Swag - mouthy and sort of obnoxious, though pretty funny if you're in a "Hate Yourself" sort of mood. Still...not interested, as my apparent deep hatred can only be quenched with lava. That's right, lava. I don't get it either. How ya like them apples, son?

That Kid I Knew Way Back When Who Loves Crass And Wolf Eyes
Pretty Much All Of My Old Romantic Endeavors
And You And All Your Friends

NOT INTERESTED, so you can tell your girlfriends and "fiances" and whatever else that they can all stop checking me. Thanks.

Hiatus Schmiatus

I believe that my hiatus from SnarkCity was pretty well established, since I haven't written an entry since February the 22nd. But according to sources that I maintain have no authority on the matter whatsoever -- so what difference does it make? -- I'm not on hiatus until I post an entry that actually says "I'm on hiatus," the way our friend over at Boobs Radley just did. You can click the link, but she's on hiatus for god's sake.

I don't agree with this principle. I don't need to post just to say I'm stopping posting, so that all my blog friends can snarf up my comments telling me how awesome my blog was and to come back because their blogosphere is incomplete. They did that anyway. 50 Snarfs!

My unpublicized but thoroughly obvious hiatus is now over, though I don't promise you any more posts, because I don't blog about every god damn random thing and every haha-funny joke I hear. But mostly because I'll soon be off to a city that's best known for its Nazi riots and ICP's Juggalo Gathering, when they flooded our streets with Faygo and punched a police horse. I saved my congratulatory champagne for FluidFace and some other randos, because, well, I can't get drunk and sleep with any of you jerks. (Can't or won't? Probably both.)

So even though I'm now calling off this hiatus, it is not because of any of the following

- "You're not funny unless you blog," because that's clearly untrue: lots of people that blog aren't funny, and I'm hilarious blog or no blog!

- "Our blogging community has a hole in its heart that can only be filled by you." Swag isn't sure what a heart is, no matter what he tells you, because he's never actually had one.

- Rufio is bored

I am happy to be back, though.